This happened. I was just writing a lengthy blog post on persevering when depression persists, or returns, or ramps up again after treatment or lifestyle changes seemed to be starting to fight it. It went on longer than it should have (who wants to read something lengthy about depression when depressed?), and listed 5 suggestions for how to keep on keeping on.
I was literally typing the last sentence when I hit some key or some combination of keys, and watched my words vanish. Poof! Gone.
And I thought, Wow, this is actually a lot like it feels when depression tries to pull you under again, after you've been doing well for a while. So, after staring numbly and blinking at the screen for a few minutes, I decided to write a different kind of post after all. Maybe in the future, you will get your 5 tips. Or maybe the 5 tips don't matter much anyhow, considering the fact that there are tips to be found everywhere about getting through depression. I'm not sure that mine have anything new or special to bring to the online conversation.
What I want to say instead is this. For many of us, trying to manage and recover from depression is an ultra-marathon as opposed to a short race. Stamina and endurance are incredibly important. And what goes into that, to pare it down to its least common denominator, is a combination of two things: a) depression managing or fighting action steps (including coping skills, making and pursuing short and long-term goals, and staying socially connected even when you feel like isolating) and b) self-care/self-compassion. The first is what motors us through when the quicksand of depression would keep us stuck, and the second is what lets us re-fuel, heal emotionally, and keep on going.
I will make the analogy of a recent winter morning at the Lemere household. The temperature was 8 below zero on a school and work day, and I didn't want to get out from under my covers, let alone face the outdoors. But I knew that staying in hibernation would have unwanted consequences, so I reminded myself of my family and personal goals, focused on positive things I was looking forward to about the day, and congratulated myself for getting up and getting going when I didn't feel like it. These action steps were similar to the kind that help us move forward while depression tries to pull us back.
The bitter cold, however (like a recurrence of depression) was a fact, and was not going to feel good. So I bundled up extra, donning the hat, gloves, and scarf I usually feel to rushed to put on in the morning, and fixed myself an extra-tall coffee to take with me. These are small things, and may sound like no brainers, but they made a big difference in the winter air seeming mildly uncomfortable as opposed to unbearable.
The depression equivalent, for me, might be talking to a close friend, engaging in a creative activity, or reading something that moves me. But it isn't just the self-care that I practice, it's the attitude toward myself and my situation that I try to assume. The kinds of things I try to say to myself.
With the recent bitter cold, I practiced telling myself, "It's freezing, of course you'd rather stay home--good for you for getting going out anyway--let's see if we can add to the comfort factor any here." And often, "Spring will come. It will not stay like this forever."
With depression, I practice telling myself, "This is hard, but you can do it." "What can help you today?"
And often, "Spring will come. It will not stay like this forever."
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