Heart Gallery

It began, I admit, as one of those pretty unpleasant single mom experiences. My daughter and I went out to do some necessary pre-winter storm shopping, and the store had run out of two items I needed, and the snow was already starting to fall, and my daughter wanted a twenty-dollar pink blanket with a hood that would make her look like a cat. I said no. My daughter was devastated and made this abundantly clear, and I, in turn erupted. Which is to say, I lectured her all the way home. (And alas, the getting home took twice as long as usual to begin with, because of the snow.) I told her, among other things, that I was now going to do my shopping solo whenever possible.

My daughter, who must have felt that she had now had devastation heaped upon devastation (being already pink cat blanket-less) announced as we trudged inside, "When I grow up to be a teenager, I'm moving far away from you! How would you like that?"  She ran upstairs, her door shutting with a bang.

Downstairs, my heart sank. She was mad and hurt. I was mad and hurt. And now we would be snowed in together in our small home for at least a day, with tomorrow's school cancellation/snow day having already been announced. This was not going to be fun.

But soon we were sorting through a pile of her school papers and artwork together, the icy atmosphere between us already significantly thawed, and we started talking about which of her art projects were our favorites, which led to the idea of converting our stairway walls into an impromptu art gallery. As we worked on it together, the earlier tension evaporated. Now she was singing, helping me hang things, chattering away.

I can't take all the credit for this, of course. My daughter has a huge heart, cares about people's feelings and getting along, and will often be the first to offer a concilliatory hug after a disagreement.

But if I did something right, I think it was in shifting my focus from the things about my daughter which I had just found exasperating, to something I really enjoy and admire about her--in this instance, her artistic tendencies. We all want and need to know that our loved ones see us and value things about us.

Today, we'll be snowed in together, but our new wall gallery will cheer us. It will remind me of the many things I love about her, and it will remind her, I hope, that even in the face of bad weather and disagreements, that she is loved.