So the Owen Labrie prep school rape trial is over, at least for this round (his defense attorney is already promising to appeal). Labrie was found not guilty of felony sexual assault charges, but guilty of having sex with a girl who was below the age of consent.
For those unfamiliar with the case, Labrie, a student at St. Paul's School, was accused of forcing a younger classmate to have sex with him in the context of what witnesses referred to as "senior salute". Senior salute, according to witnesses, is when soon-to-graduate seniors at the boarding school try to engage younger students in a sort of last-chance sexual encounter. In this instance, the victim was a freshman in high school.
No matter what the legal outcome, this is a sad, sad case.
Sad because of a context where sex-as-conquest is referred to as "slaying", and the names of "slayers" are written on a wall. (And while the details are specific to one school, let's not kid ourselves that there are not countless other places with similar cultures and practices).Sad because a young teenager and her parents had to sit through an excruciatingly detailed and drawn-out trial, the victim having to relive the incident and her parents having to hear details which I'm sure are the stuff of their nightmares now. Sad because of all the collateral damage.
Sad because Labrie's attorney leaned heavily on a popular notion that the victim "did not resist actively enough", and therefore, the incident was not felony rape.
Did not resist actively enough.
During the victim's testimony, she described saying "no" repeatedly to Labrie's sexual advances and trying to physically prevent his removing her underwear, before she finally "froze"-- a very common trauma response. So, in what universe does freezing equal consent, or does repeatedly saying no constitute insufficient resistance? Why is a victim's responsibility to somehow prevent her victimization more important than a perpetrator's responsibility to hear and honor the word "no"?
As a woman, survivor, and friend or therapist to many rape survivors, I am so disheartened. Not just by this case, but by the way our society victimizes, blames, and shames females of all ages. Including, sadly, underage girls. (Do you remember who and how you were as a young teen? How able you would have been or felt at that age to somehow ward off an assault?)
I am also a mother who is raising a daughter. And I'll be honest, I am scared-- terrified, really-- about the culture and attitude at this boarding school. Which, if we're honest about it, is really only a microcosm and reflection of larger societal culture and attitudes. A mindset in which females are objects, trophies, prey for the "slaying".
"I can't believe you poked her... How'd it go from no to bone?" a friend messaged Labrie.
"Used every trick in the book," Labrie answered in a message exchange shown to the jury.
We who are parents or professionals working with youth have an enormous responsibility to meaningfully address the objectification of and violence against women. In our homes, in our classrooms, in our conversations with one another. Because the "senior salute" attitude which supports the tragic incident at St. Paul's is pervasive and massively destructive.
As for Owen Labrie, who awaits his sentencing, what exactly would constitute justice? There is certainly significant evidence that he was guilty of rape despite having been exonerated (at least for now) with regard to that charge. We do not know, cannot know, if he has remorse, or the degree to which he poses a further public safety risk. The argument could be made that the culture of the school and its "senior salute" ritual blinded him to the true harmfulness of his actions, to the fact that he was inflicting real and lasting harm on a human being rather than simply scoring a point in a game. It could be argued that he was swept away by a powerful current of misogyny.
In which case, he certainly did not resist actively enough,
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