Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Rape on Campus: On Deciding That Denial is Not Acceptable

It is human nature, I think, not to want to admit our shortcomings or trouble spots. In a society obsessed with perfection, we sometimes go to great lengths to hide from ourselves and from the world that which is wrong with us.

This is a truth I have found in all aspects of my life. As a writer, for instance, I sometimes write sentences and paragraphs that are truly atrocious, that I might even deny writing if they were ever discovered. As a therapist, I might miss an important clinical indicator sometimes, or I miss the boat just in how I interact with a client. And as parent, the mistakes I've made could fill a book. Some of these mistakes and deficiencies in all three areas have directly led to my making improvements, though I can't say that this has been true 100% of the time. What I can say is, denying them has been helpful 0% of the time, and has proven at times downright harmful.

When denial is applied to a problem as serious and harmful as campus rape, however, the harm extends well beyond the failure of any one person to face their flaws and make positive change. Denial about rape on college campus hurts and re-traumatizes victims, increases likelihood of new instances of sexual assault, and provides a false sense of security to everyone.

Yesterday I saw the documentary film Hunting Ground, which is about rape on college campuses and the ways in which various systems collude to deny the problem. Having worked as a therapist with both survivors and perpetrators, I already knew that rape happens on college campuses, that it happens a lot, and that many survivors suffer in silence and secrecy, while the smaller percentage who come forward are often met with skepticism, criticism, and sometimes ostracism as well.

But Hunting Ground is not a depiction of sexual assault in general so much as an exploration of a specific context in which sexual assault is not only likelier to happen, but where it is far likelier to be minimized, denied, and dramatically under-reported. The film provides an exploration of some of the facets that influence rape culture on college campuses, factors which include incentives for colleges to report low or non-existent rates of sexual assault at their institution, measures to protect sub-groups from being penalized for committing sexual assaults (especially athlete "celebrities"), and significant financial incentives for keeping alumnae organizations and fraternities happy. In other words, there are substantial incentives for pretending that college students are not being sexually assaulted on one's own campus, that rape is something that only happens at other campuses.

If you are a sexual assault survivor in the above scenario, you are a person to be silenced, shamed, and persuaded that what you experienced was not real or was your fault. I have worked with survivors who were sold this crap, and the psychological and emotional aftermath is not pretty.

This is not to say that college administrators are inherently uncaring or unethical, or that college campuses as a whole are not taking steps to address both the prevention and the appropriate systemic response to sexual assault. I viewed the film with a higher education program director who is very committed to addressing the problem of campus sexual assault, for instance, and I know of others who are taking steps in terms of both policy and research to do more.

It is to say, however, that the necessary starting place is with this fact.

Sexual assault happens on ALL college campuses. This includes the ones we went to, ones we go to now, the ones we send our children to, the ones we work for. The statistics available, based on reported assaults, do not give anywhere near the accurate picture. Most assaults are not reported.

If we start with the premise that sexual assaults are happening at the campuses we are involved in, then we have a call to action. We must get better at reducing risk, promoting safety, and intervening swiftly on behalf of survivors.

As for those of us who consider ourselves The Larger Community--some of whom are alums with fond memories and ongoing social connections to our alma maters--what it means is that we can no longer perpetuate the myth that the institution we love is somehow above having sexual assaults happen. We need to make decisions about sending our children to college grounded in a presumption that sexual assault is one of many risks that increase in a college setting. This is not to imply that we need to accept it as the ongoing truth of things. It is to say, however, that we cannot begin to address it if we continue to collectively turn a blind eye.

So, we acknowledge it exists. And then we say it's unacceptable. Which is a different matter entirely from saying that it never really happens at all, not on our campus. Not on our watch.

Once we acknowledge that campus rape exists, that it is prevalent, that it is embedded in the larger problem of rape culture, and that we haven' been doing a good job in dealing with it, that's when the real work can begin.



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